The Travelling Bathroom

It broke. Then the Earth fell apart. The rocky mountains fell into the sky as a large lump of rock, and India was hurtled toward the moon. The atmosphere dissipated and Lawrence wondered how the end of the world would reach him in his tiny, windowless bathroom.

Of course, nothing happened.

Lawrence opened his bathroom door to look outside. His room was not there. Instead, he saw the nothing. Darkness was all he saw. Maybe he lacked a sense of futility, but Law closed the door.

Curling up in the bathtub is a good way to let your sensibilities overtake your sense of logic.

The door opened, and the darkness had gone away. Instead, there was an intense blue fog, and no ground. The door closed again. This was the time to fill the bathtub. Perhaps he might drown. The plumbing works remarkably well in a place without water. Law opened his eyes from underwater. He wondered if it was really his bathroom above the waterline. Perhaps it was an illusion, that only broke when his vision was distorted by the water above him. Then he passed out.

When he woke up, he opened the door again. It was still blue. Only now did Law decide that he should look around. He carefully stuck his head out, and looked down. His innards hit the floor, and his head spun around his neck. There was nothing. There was no ground, there was no ground, and there was no ceiling either, but it’s the ground that disturbed Law the most. He slammed the door shut, and wondered if he would ever see his own blue sky again. At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if his own sky had been painted this whole time.

It was at this moment that Law noticed the small plant. He got it at a store six months ago. The plant looked fine. It wasn’t withering, it wasn’t collapsing. The plant could die at any moment, yet it showed no signs of stress. Some items are blessed with their absence of mind.

Law drained the bathtub and a furious brown wind knocked the door against the wall. The door slammed and the sound funneled directly into his brain. His thoughts scattered, and something turned on. He leaped at the door and slammed it shut louder than the angry winds outside. His eyes burned and rung in his skull with the sting of electricity.

In the face of complete confusion, some people have the ability to remain calm. Law was not one of those people. He tore down everything he could find in his bathroom. He tore down the shower curtain, he took his garbage bin and threw it out the door. There were a lot more glass bottles in his cabinets than he previously thought. Something was happening around him. This bathroom was playing games with him, and he only wanted the torment to stop. After an eternity of destroying the bathroom, Law sat in the corner and wept. All he had left in the world was a small room, and now even that was destroyed.

When Law woke up, he decided to look outside again. It was still brown, but he nearly hacked up a lung this time from how toxic it had become. He shut the door and sat down, back against the wall. He wondered if there were any other people, stuck in their bathrooms, surrounded by a changing fog with no rhyme or reason. He reached in his pocket and called his girlfriend. He went to voicemail, but at least he was getting reception in a place without satellites. He listened to her answering message. He called again, and continued to hope she would pick up the phone. Even if she never picked up the phone, at least he could continue to hear the voice of the woman he loved. Then he wept.

Law wanted the world back. He wanted his small apartment back. He needed to find a person, someone who understood how much he’d been through, someone who knew how valuable this bathroom was. He could tell this person that he had a magical bathroom, that had running water without being hooked up to pipes. It had… all this beautiful changing scenery, and the unusual weather. It had everything a person could ever look for in a bathroom. It has seen nothingness, and it has seen beautiful blue fog. It floated in the sky, it made him crazy and sane again. That must be worth something. All he wanted was his silly little apartment. All he wanted was to know there’s a single other room in the universe that had running water, and some people.

Then the heat reached his room. It boiled, and he boiled. There was him, and there was only the fire. The walls started catching fire, and Law started catching fire, though he didn’t notice. He just wanted this bathroom to go away, so he could get his old life back. The room started disappearing, and he started disappearing. And there was nothing but the fire. He wondered about the end. He wondered about the beginning. Then he was gone.

Law woke up on the toilet. Pants around his ankles, water spraying in his face from the now missing sink. His toilet was being held up by the steel drainage pipe, and there was no floor, except for that of the bathroom directly beneath him. The was a bathroom beneath him, but his bathroom was gone. No more walls, no more bathtub, just him on his toilet. He looked around to see his apartment behind him, and his neighbor staring at him from next door. Some deals are too good to pass up.