Seven Devils

The man was deciding whether or not
to donate money to the charity this year,
so an angel appeared on his right shoulder.
“If you were struggling, wouldn’t you hope
someone would do the same for you?”
The man fished a dollar out of his pocket,
until a devil appeared on his left shoulder.
“If you save that dollar, you could buy
a hamburger, and eat that while you
look at pornography!”
Another angel appeared on the man’s shoulder.
“That’s not okay at all, think of the children.”
The man remembered his old gym teacher,
who was arrested after doing both of those
things at the same time. Another devil.
“Save your money, they’d probably spend it
on drugs or something…”
A third angel, “They would not spend it on drugs.
There are lots of perfectly honest poor people.”
The man sat down, as the devils and angels
were starting to weigh his shoulders down.
Third devil, “If you save that dollar,
and a few more dollars,
you could buy something nice,”
‘That’s helpful,’ the man thought.
“Like crack.” the devil continued.
A fourth angel and a fourth devil
appeared at once and started fighting
while the others looked on and placed bets
on who would win.
The fifth angel attempted to take the dollar himself
but was stabbed by the fifth devil’s pitchfork.
The sixth angel started reciting the bible,
while the sixth devil played heavy metal
by the time the seventh angel and devil got around,
everyone was organizing a game of ultimate Frisbee.
The game went on for some time,
the winner deciding the fate of the dollar.
There was lots of cheering
as thousands of celestial beings cheered and
watched from the stadium seats while eating popcorn.

Finally, after about an hour,
the man went back into the store
and bought some earplugs.