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Did you get my message?
Everything's coming down.
Do you hear me?
I love the ugliness.

Let's bother everybody in the world.
I'll stand close to people,
You keep making a sniffing noise.
We'll change the world like this.

People should inhale my silence.
Get a plane and drop
buckets of paint everywhere.
Shut their complaints out.

I breathe stagnant air.
I see in dull colors.
But if the world was dull,
Then I'd see everything normally.

What is this burnt out feeling?
Are my fingers tired of lighting matches?
Do you hear my thoughts,
Or are your disgusting actions an impulse?

Stick to live television,
Stick to the teleprompter,
Be one of the normal ones,
But know you can go off script.
The language in this submission is unique, so is the mood. I liked both immrdiately. "Let's bother everyone in the world." someone will, someone does, whether angry or not. "people should inhale my silence" is a spectacular line, one of your best. Your skill at setting tone and mood is worthy by my standards, and it stands that you and I both have been working long. The ugliness is attractive in such moments. The only weakness by my notice is in the middle, about sniffing noises; but we all choose our language. I concede it is a small matter. Over all, well-done.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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Darjavine Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wonderful use of language :w00t: Real cool!
elizabethburnside Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very different but it had alot of good imagery and a strong voice.
Annuski Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Student Writer
Interesting...makes me think
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Submitted on
January 5, 2013
File Size
921 bytes


4 (who?)